Saturday, June 15, 2013

Coffeeshop Writers Group - Good work by Marf, Donna, Linda, and Carlana

Donna wrote an excellent poem about being in a dark depression. I told her to submit it to the Bellevue Literary Review.

When I had bipolar, I'd get terrible depressions at least four times a year. For me, the best thing was to keep on working. Being a therapist was relatively easy except for the paperwork.



Martha, on the right, wrote a prose-poem - Angel of Mercy - about an amazing coincidence. She recommended the book series God Winks. I'll look at the link at blog's end and when I get up to eat more peanuts.

Martha's daughter Emily is a nurse in the ER at Abington Hospital. A woman's husband died in the ER and she passed out from shock.

Nurse Emily picked her up off the floor and stayed with her until the woman gained composure.

The other day Marf went to the deli at the Giant and the young widow was behind the counter. Her first day on the job since her husband died.

She stared at Martha a while and then it came to her: she thot she was nurse Emily.

Quite a poem, featuring ham, turkey and chicken salad.

Laffing Carly wrote a poem about her late sister, Joan.

I said to Linda, on the right, "Is this how you want people to see you?"

Well, she's in good company. Here's a foto of Carly's sister Joan, on the left, her husband Charley and her late mom.

Taken in Palm Springs, CA. The poem was so good we wanted her to expand it and include more details.

Carly also wrote a promising poem with the great title of "Has Fear Gained Your Trust?"

Martha also wrote about an experience at Calvary Church, at Bustleton and Philmont Ave.

At the age of 13, a shark bit off the arm of Bethany Hamilton. Now 20, she appeared at church as a witness to what faith can do to heal your mind of this shattering experience.


Back to surfing and giving talks about her survival, Bethany prefers not to wear a prosthetic arm



I told the group about my visit yesterday to Sister Vicki in Flourtown

Vicki has a love-hate relationship with her entire-leg prosthesis.

Speaking of coincidences, amazing that I visited Vicki only yesterday.

Linda is working on one of her sci-fic pieces which posits the question, What if you could live forever. In the dystopia of Linda's story, people are executed at their 30th birthday. Saves money.

Before she read, Linda said to me, Am I losing my touch, Ruthie?

No, I said. Every writer thinks the same thing. 

I read the first two pages of a story I'm writing about Hurricane Sandy last October at an unnamed shore point.

A Tree for Tony - We hold a service for him at Pennypack Trust - Poem: Our Tony

Today was a perfect day to get together with the family and friends of the late Tony Garofalo to consecrate a tree we planted in his memory at Pennypack Trust.

We got there at 10 am since Tony's young nephews Garrett and Stefano had a busy day of sports ahead of them.

"Fanelli!" I said when I walked up to the Barn. There was Jack Finelli, on the left, who I haven't seen in five years, since his dad's funeral. Michael and Elizabeth Garofalo, Tony's bro and sister/law are on the right.

Jack's dad would bake delicious pizzelles with powdered sugar on top, which I'd happily savor. Jack's mom died two years ago and his sister, who was in the Lynch Home, died last year.

Ada and Scott. Scott was exhausted since he just came home from work at 8 am but said he wouldn't miss the ceremony for anything. We all loved Tony.

Here's David Robertson, director of Pennypack, who plans to go bike riding this afternoon with wife Mary in Horsham. 
 Michael and Elizabeth Garofalo. They were Tony's best friends, always there for him.

The Latin name of the tree is Ostraya virginiana. Its nicknames are many:  Hop Hornbeam and Ironwood, b/c the bark is so strong, said David Robertson. He said the bark is so heavy it won't float. David was happy we'd ordered an Ironwood - Chris Dartley, one of the stewards actually did - since he wanted it to be part of the forestration.

When Chris asked me where we'd like it located, I said "with a great view of a meadow."

The view from Tony's Tree.

Also at Chris's suggestion, we bought a plaque from DeChristopher Brothers:

It's planted inside the deer-discouraging fencing. Tony's nephews took turns pushing it into the ground.

We also shared stories about Tony.

Rich Fleisher on the extreme right told about one of our Wednesday Outings when we went to the Woodmere Museum in Chestnut Hill. Rich, who jogs every day, asked if anyone wanted to walk from Woodmere to the restaurant we would eat at, and Tony took up the challenge.

He loved using his body and getting exercise. He was a member of LA Fitness where he took kickboxing. His bro said he was a martial artist. He played tennis and would send me an occasional email about a woman he met at tennis - did she sound like a good match? - sometimes the women worked out for a while.

He said he never had to approach a woman b/c they all came up to him.
Jack, in the center, shared a story about painting decks with Tony, as organized by Joe Moore of our group.While they did make extra money, one time they unwittingly painted a deck, after which there was a thundershower that wiped everything away.

Joe got sued.

Tony had a good mind for numbers. Hey, let's find a photo of him and include it, too. After all, he's the main character! This is from my funeral blog about Tony.

Hello again, Tony! So nice to see you even though you can't talk.

Tony had a job in Portland, ME, as an actuary for Blue Cross/Blue Shield. He and I used to talk on the phone about stocks. I have a portfolio of stocks that, when I retire, will cover me for at least one whole week, providing I don't use any water or electricity.

He thought he could get rich as a day trader. His brother Mike mentioned that he turned $17,000 into over a million dollars - I rememember this as well - but the problem is: You've gotta quit while you're ahead.



We all remember when Tony bot his dream car: a BMW convertible. How he loved that car. I remember asking him to come over so I could take a spin in it. Leather seats and all. And a shiny brown wheel. 

On our New Directions website in 2010, I listed under Job Opportunities "Census Worker." I called Tony and told him about it. Since he wasn't able to find a job as an actuary, he applied for the census job and got it.

He did really well.

New Directions had an office on Davisville Road for a few years. It was exciting at first - we held Movie Night there - and Tony often attended - but then I realized it was a waste of money - so Tony and Scott helped me move out.

Scott said he realized how strong Tony was carrying out the heavy furniture and desks.

One of the comfy chairs is in the far corner of my living room. Gee, that box of Compasses should be moved away.

I told Tony he could have anything he wanted so he took a swiveling purple desk chair.

David took photos as did Mike, Elizabeth and the kids.

Scott took a photo of me. I lathered on Nutrogena Sunscreen, which I learned about from Ada. People with transplants are sposed to cover themselves in the sun.

Jack and I lingered in the parking lot, where just about every spot was taken. He works the night shift at a Horsham outfit. Say hi to your wife, Dottie, I told him.

His late father was a foreman at the now defunct Budd Company, Hunting Park plant, former maker of SEPTA trains, until the city decided to buy the cheapest trains possible. Ask Scott, who fixes the elevated trains, how unreliable they are.

I worked on this poem a long time, trying to get it right. I read it to my friend Carolyn Constable, former naturalist at Peace Valley Nature Center, who said to make copies for Tony's family. I printed up 6 copies and gave them to Elizabeth.

OUR TONY

1965 - 2011

Walk with me Tony
down these familiar paths
you knew so well
Shed your eternal light
upon the bark-eating deer
and spotted fawns
the fecund turkeys
with translucent eggs
See the sashaying hens
in their black high heels?
And the cocky toms
in tie and tails?
Watch out for the coyotes!
their highly prized teeth
can dismember a cricket or a fox
faster than a bluebird
darting across Raytharn Farm

We were privileged to know you, Anthony,
in the short time you were here
a friend to all
eyes bright with life
yet you could not stay
roamed the sands of Maine
the tennis courts and fitness centers
your brother's kitchen with pizelles and manicotti
searching for the missing puzzle pieces
they forgot to put in the box

Peace came in the fields, the grasses,
the vast blue sky
the tree we planted in your name
the American hornbeam
will call aloud every spring
Tony! Tony!
come all who knew him
and be with him once again.
- Ruth Z Deming



Friday, June 14, 2013

Hello Sister Vicki! We were classmates at Hahnemann in the Group Therapy Program

Tee-off time was 11 am, so before I drove to Flourtown I wanted to say hello to my newly blooming sweet peas, a gift from the late gardener Mr. Carrell Beame of Hatboro, PA. He came from a long-lived family and was 96 when he died in his own home.

His twin sister Caroline lived down the street and died a few months before he did. She was born first.

Welcome to Saint Joseph Villa!

Sister Vicki has lived at St Joseph Villa in Flourtown for 2 1/2 yrs. It's a retirement community for nuns but Vicki doesn't want to retire. You'll soon find out why her superiors asked her to retire.

We each complimented each other on looking the same as when we were in the penultimate class at Hahnemann, chaired by the late Mike Vaccaro, MD, and Fabian Ulitsky. I brot Vicki a copy of the Compass in which the fabulous Fabian wrote an article about retiring.

Note the 'wedding ring' on Vicki's finger. She entered convent life two years out of high school and here she is, at age 69, many years later.

She is a Sister of St Joseph, 

Her master's degree allowed Vicki to do incredibly important work with troubled boys at St. Gabriel's Hall in Audubon, PA.

Her clients were those who had committed various sexual crimes, such as child molestation and frotteurism. 

Most of the boys she counseled went on to lead good productive lives.

Vicki would be the first to say, What are nuns doing teaching a class like this?

Vicki chatting with another sister. Everyone loves Sister Vicki, again a Sister of St Joseph, Joseph being the 'stepfather' of Jesus.


From Wiki: There are approximately 14,000 members worldwide: about 7,000 in the United States; 2,000 in France; and the Sisters are active in fifty other countries.

The food was delicious and I only have a small stain on my shirt to show for it, or praps it's a microphone for my next interview on Sixty Minutes.

I ate crabcakes, cauliflower au gratin, potato salad (two helpings), butternut squash soup, salad with sunflower seeds on top and a hot cup of Decaf.

I'll tell you something. Vicki and I did so much talking.... and listening.... we had so much to catch up on... including why she's in a wheelchair.

Imagine having to cram all your belongings into one small room.

I sat on the bed while Vicki told me about herself, why she became a nun, her maturity when she became a principal, caring for her dying parents while still working. She told me about her twin brother Michael and his adopted son, Michael.

She also talked about a wonderful seminar she took in Rome about sexuality by a noted Jesuit priest she greatly admired.

"I learned so much!" she exclaimed.

We talked about the unfair stigma against gays in the Catholic church and the male patriarchal hierarchy that prevents women from achieving the priesthood.

I brot a short story I'd written - "Intruder on Main Street" - in which a robber burglarizes a beauty salon in Hatboro. One of the characters was inspired by Vicki: the pedicurist who walked with a 'peg leg.'

Two years ago, 2011, the same year as my transplant, Vicki had her leg amputated from the knee down.

It was ineffective to stop the spread of disease due to clogged veins and arteries in her leg, so they went back in and took off the entire leg.

She is still adapting to this horrible tragedy. The person who makes the artificial limb is called a PROS-THE-TIST.

It is b/c of this that the Sisters of St Joseph will not allow her to work. As bad a horror as the removal of the leg. We talked about some alternatives.

"You give me hope," said Vicki. "I expect the worst."

In another year, I believe Vicki will be working in some important capacity.

I loved all the different expressions on her face.

We took a tour around the 7-story building. Here's the computer room.

View of front entrance from Computer Room. In the center of the baseball diamond is a religious statue.

Services are held in the beautiful chapel

Can you see the glass etchings?

Nun waiting to use restroom. One of the few wearing a habit.

Into the garden. "Of Gethsemane?" I asked. Note birdbath in middle on right.

Good friends. Sister Connie Gardner is a retired Latin teacher and visits fellow teacher Sister Ann Marguerite, 95, who taught French at Mount St Joseph Academy right next door.

 Sister Ann Marguerite has beautiful blue eyes and no teeth.
Sister Connie spontaneously gave me a bookmark she bought in Spain.

So now I'm reading: The Wanting by Michael Lavigne - Nothing Gold Can Stay by Ron Rash - authors and titles that are impossible to remember. The books are darn good!

In the hallway Vicki and I kvelled over several photos of nuns in different style habits. Other sisters joined us in the appreciation of how the habits got smaller and smaller until they disappeared entirely. When I knew Vicki in school, she never wore one.

I asked Sister Florence if she were a priest. No, she said, I'm a sister of Saint Joseph. I made up for my gaffe by asking what she used to do. Teach, she said. To me, teachers are just about the most important people there are. That and moms.

This is the entrance to St Joseph's Villa. I didn't notice it when I came in. I had gotten so lost I thought I'd never arrive.

Made an emergency stop at my library


where Suzy printed out directions for me.

I checked out an audio book to listen to on the endless drive to see Sister Vicki



Who needs a life of their own? Just read a book and do nuffin.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Yin and Lee and Mee meet for lunch at the Colonel's

Please congratulate the always-thinking Yin Liu who graduated from TU in International Finance. She and husband Patrick Otis Cox live in North Wales, PA.

My graduation gift to Yin is this invaluable Lemon Press and one fresh lemon from Giant.

Yin's sister Lee is visiting from the family's hometown in Dalian, on the west coast of China near Japan.
Scenes off the Internet.

Lee is the youngest of five children. Back in those days - Lee is 43 - there was no limit on how many kids you could have. Lee and Yin's folks did quite well - the dad was an engineer in an engine factory and is now retired.

The family stays in touch by phone and email.

Lee would like to live here. In China, she's an accountant at a hospital.

Widowed five years ago, she came to visit with her 10-yo son. They both love America but are surprised at our unhealthy fried-foods diet.

The boy is already enrolled in school, where he is struggling with the English language.

Photo 
Here's the little fellow. He'll enrich any American classroom where he's a student.

Photo
Yin and husband Patrick.


Two delicious dishes from Colonial Quy-Bau in Willow Grove, PA



Here's my Tilapia.

I gotta have a pic of your pocketbook I said to Yin. Everything she has is so beautiful. She commented about the lovely presentation of the food at the kernal's, as I call the place.

Lee actually thanked me for taking her picture. Most people cringe.

What does she like best about America, I asked.

The fresh air - no pollution! The temperature and the friendliness of the people.

I commented that China's new president visited us last week.



They could be twins! Ironic that Obama's not gonna mention 'human rights violations' - he was just outed for monitoring phone calls and social media. At least I'm not gonna get in trouble for criticizing him.

Sisters. Yin has helped her sister since her brother/law died five years ago. "You must move forward," she tells her.

Lee brought me a gift - a tin of tea.

How shall I make it, I asked.

Remember that teapot I gave you? said Yin.

I did make a pot full and it's cooling right here next to me.

WOWEE! This is some delicious tea!